10 simple rules of dating my daughter

Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly takeover for a stricken pilot and land the plane. With a book like this-an "owner's manual," if you will-you may learn enough to make it to the airport safely.

And in this case, the passengers are all yelling, "I hate you! Otherwise, you might as well go back and finish watching the movie with everybody else.

- Your gas tank is always empty and your laundry basket is always full.

- While you've generally been in favor of them up until now, suddenly "Miracle Bras" seem like a really bad idea.

If you've had a baby, or are engaged in breeding, I will tell you what you have to look forward to.

If it's been about a dozen birthdays since you brought home that darling little bundle of girl baby, I am willing to explain the skills and tactics you will need to make it through the next eight years with a minimum of trauma.

Life's a contact sport, dads will argue, so a few non-fatal bruises along the way merely toughens the body and steels the soul.

He's been through braces (the most expensive metal on earth), kissing (do they have to use their lips?

), teen "logic" ("I asked if I could go out with Lindsey and you said no, so I went out with Courtney"), and, of course, dating, which leads to the 8 Simple Rules.

The Gathering Storm First things first: Let's diagnose the situation.

Just because your blood pressure is so high you swear other people can hear it doesn't mean you're suffering from teenager-your daughter might be a "preteen," which is sort of like having a tornado before a hurricane hits.

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