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John Gottman and his four decades of marriage research.“When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean,” writes Ellie Lisitsa in The Four Horsemen: Contempt on The Gottman Institute’s blog about strengthening relationships.

It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message that you’re disgusted with him or her.” The reason contempt is such a powerful predictor of divorce is because it is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts.

Jessie’s husband does this by trying to make her feel like a horrible personal and by saying hurtful things to her. You know your husband better than anyone, you know yourself, and you know how your marriage has changed through the years.

Don’t let a relationship article take away all your hope for a happy, healthy marriage!

“Treating others with disrespect and mocking them with sarcasm are forms of contempt.

So are hostile humor, name-calling, mimicking, and/or body language such as eye-rolling and sneering.

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