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During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).

I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?

“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.

He sees me as a smart, fun, sexy, loving mom who doesn't drink and who has changed her life. It's also awesome to have a reprieve from the world of AA, which, quite honestly, can be a fucking bore.”And, the cons of dating people who aren’t sober? And, the differences in lifestyle that don’t feel huge in the beginning of a relationship can begin to take a toll down the line.

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Or how many people I have slept with,” she says, half-jokingly.The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?It’s always a little awkward when a potential date wants to “meet you for a drink.” Telling them you’re sober feels like confessing to some horrible chronic STD.“Normies don't seem to be as self-obsessed as guys in AA, but maybe that is just my experience,” she says.She also finds that leaving behind your addict identity can be helpful.“The pros are that you can reinvent who you are and not just be ‘an addict,’” Sam says.

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