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In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow." In a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in July of 2003, researchers quizzed 978 heterosexual residents of Ithaca, N. First, the participants rated the importance of 10 attributes of a long-term partner, and then rated themselves on the same scale.When the results were tallied, self-perception was more likely to match mate perception.She drives a Lexus, he rides a Harley; she's a sports nut, he's a bookworm; he's a Republican, she's a Democrat. Cutright, along with his wife Layne, run the Center for Enlightened Partnerships in Las Vegas. It depends what you mean by "opposite." "I believe unresolved patterns attract," says Paul Cutright, author of You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think.Perry says, "People tend to look for almost a clone of themselves. What if one was detail conscious and the other was "big picture" oriented? Bottom line: If the people's values and ways they want to spend time are different, this could lead to "big trouble," Perry says. They make up a shopping list instead." While in the "market," do they evaluate the goods carefully?

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"What most people call falling in love is really falling in pattern," he says.

"Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis.

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