The dating lady

She has no qualms laboriously poring through profiles, consistently meeting and getting to know new people, and getting emotionally invested with people fairly quickly. For S, her end-goal of finding true love ASAP trumps all. But I just don’t feel the same anxiety and sense of urgency to settle down. I’m willing to wait until I’m 35 or maybe even 40 — if that’s what it takes for me to find my soul mate. And apparently, this view isn’t really out of the ordinary.According to a Marriage and Parenthood Survey conducted in 2017, 83 per cent of singles in Singapore aged 21 to 35 years old intended to get married.The Sing Stat data dates back to 1990, and tells us that there have been more female than male graduates, for the age bracket of 25 to 34, for at least the past 30 years. Assuming that female university graduates in Singapore are looking to marry male university graduates of a similar age range to them, the prospect of dating and marriage appears to be skewed against female graduates.The data does not provide further breakdowns on the proportion of those who are married or single, but the fact of the data is that there are far more female university graduates than male university graduates aged 25 to 34. Well, what about those who are willing to date non-university graduates, or willing to date men younger than 25 or older than 35? Having been through several rather serious relationships, I certainly am not averse to the idea of marriage.But I never wanted marriage enough to actively search for a partner to settle down with — if a relationship happens, it happens.

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However, I firmly believe the person I end up with need not be my ideal partner.By the time she was in her late 20s, though, she realised this wasn’t going in the way she envisioned at all. So, why are these women having difficulty settling down? In the same year, there were only 60,300 graduate males in the same age range.And if we look at the university graduates in the age bracket of 30-34 in 2018, there are 79,000 females but only 70,100 males.This includes introductions and responses to questions on her hobbies and interests, for example.Whenever a response or question piques her interest, she would then take it from there to further develop the relationship.

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